- ► 2008 (21)
- The power of thinking: optimism with care
- DR on my lens - Motels ala Las Vegas
- From Square One, Closing
- Enter his enchanted world
- The power of thinking: practicality
- Rx: Weekly Prescription - Hunkalicious Babe-lium (...
- From Square One, Mid-half
- Faith or Fake
- The power of thinking: courage
- From Square One, Intro
- Cruising T-rooms
- The power of thinking: harmony
- Hold your breath then free your mind
- Rx: Daily Prescription - Hunkalicious Babe-lium (O...
- The power of thinking: trust
- What's cooking? The New Menudo - that is!
- Worrisome distance
- The power of thinking: fluidity
- The TIME is within our hands
- DR on my lens - Lush green Botanical Garden
- Don't let it end Jay!
- Casual sex inducing chemicals
- The power of thinking: leadership
- Reality bites
- Rx: Weekly Prescription - Hunkalicious Babe-lium (...
- My love of.......DOLPHINS
- An obsession you truly want to have
- Colors of my blog
- The power of thinking: patience
- Have you ever.......?
- Rx: Weekly Prescription - Hunkalicious Babe-lium (...
- The power of thinking: inner beauty
- The children of the sea
- I am insatiably and dar-ren-gly in love
- Blurred lines of sexuality
- Be the best, be in the Best Gay Blogs
- 10 Notable things about Dominicans
- ▼ November (37)
It took some time for the abuses to stop. It wasn't me who have brought up the matter to other elders. It was another cousin that he was also doing the same abuses. However he was just apprehended but was never incarcerated. "Bantay Bata (Child Watch)" is not yet known during that time. They chose to shut up for what matters most was the sake and name of the clan. Our family hold the municipality the same as the Marcoses did during his regime. The case would mean disrespect from the community. So no word came up. It angered me so much deep inside. I am just a nobody.
Again fate stepped in as my family failed to have a decent life in the province even if we're near our relatives. Life got harder for us so my Dad decided to pawn our house to my grandfather. He accepted it. I can't believe it, he should be helping us instead of putting us knee deep in the mud. My dad was devastated but at least we have some money to start on. When we get back to Manila we started our life again. We tried fitting in a single rented room in the city. Everything was there, the living room, the kitchen, the bedroom. We had a communal bathroom where everyone in that same house were using. The house had other tenants and all of them were family just like us. We were in squalor. The hardships in our life had me more occupied than my budding homosexuality. Everything was thrown at the back.
It didn't take long when our funds have depleted, and we were forced to look for another place to live. Wonder of wonders, there's another relative have rescued us. We ended up living in the southern part of Metro Manila. Life over there wasn't any better. We didn't pay rent but we took care of the property. And when I said took care, it means doing the herculean task of making the place habitable. When we arrived the place was a wreck, a small-hill with big ipil-ipil trees can be found in the backyard a throng of mosquitoes guarded it. Me and my dad flattened the mount of soil with our own bare hands under the scorching sun. We planted crops there so we can get by. Having less than enough, we crawled out of poverty. Time flew and little did we know that we were already young adults.
During the elementary school years I was already showing hints of queerness. I always played with girls. More involved in cultural activities and never did bother to learn any type of sports. My classmates started teasing me but I paid no attention them. I was happy being what I am. Life went on until one day when I was in the 6th grade I met this guy. He's way older than me. He was a street vendor selling cigarettes. I was resting midway from my walk to my house and sitting under a roofed lot. He approached me and started to ask me some questions. He seemed to be a nice guy. We talked about a lot of things. He was amazed that I know more than my age. He was amazed about me knowing more about SEX. He dared me to put it in practice with him. We lured me into fucking him in a vacant storage house that's where he taught me how to fuck his ass. I didn't like it at all but I remembered getting the hardest boner I ever had. I never came but the event solidified my attraction to guys. After that we never saw each other again. I continued walking the same route hoping that we would cross paths again. We never did but then I met a handsome priest who was very fond of me. He gave me toys and asked me to pass by the church everyday. And so I did. He was abnormally sweet to me. He liked giving me a body rub. I didn't see anything sexual in it so I allowed him. However, before something might have happened to us he was transferred. I missed him, his touches and his encouragements. I knew then that I was different.
It was the sophomore year when I came out. Disappointing half of my female classmates who had a crush on me. I am not a looker but I was always topping the class. The year before that I had my first and last girlfriend. We never broke up. I just realized it wasn't her that I was falling for it was my male best-friend. He left before he ever knew that I was attracted to him. While the poor girl never knew the reason why I dumped her.
High school life was indeed the happiest time of my life. I've got lots of friends, including the ones that have introduced me more into sex. I've got lots of boyfriends too during that time.
They've helped me hone my talents in giving pleasure to the same sex. Me and my gay pals counted partners more than we could. Year 1986, Rock Hudson was diagnosed with the gay disease. Sex was just sex, as we were so ignorant then.
Even with so much disgusto, we spent one summer vacation back in our province. Memories came back reeling as I had to face my uncle who had molested me. He did change a bit he became somewhat ashamed and avoided me while I was there. Maybe because I was out and proud already and he saw the effect of what he had done to me. Although I never blamed him. And even though we have grown up, my dearest cousin was still the apple of the eyes my relatives. Nothing have changed, I was the bad apple. I am still a nobody. He never have shown any signs that he remembered whatever had happened between us. His non-chalant irked me heavily that I turned my attention to a younger male cousin.He was the one who had asked help from his parents when we were being molested by my uncle. He had grown a bit of a young man thus a prey to my eyes. I had an evil plan to seduce my younger cousin to doing it with me. One time, I went over his house and since we live nearby I had no trouble asking him if we can play together. Same trick, we tussled and hustled then when I got the chance I grabbed his crotch. He was aroused obviously as his shorts were already wet with precum. He haven't ejaculated before so when he saw the wet spot, he was intrigued by it:
"Hey what happened? Did I just pissed on myself?"
"You don't know what that is?"
"It's your love juice.......It comes out whenever you get excited. Are you excited?"
"Yes I am!"
"You want me to continue?"
And so I did. Armed with all the skills I learned from my past experiences I gave him the blowjob of his life, which he really liked and enjoyed. I let him come inside my mouth. He asked me to do it once again the day after that. And then the day after that. Until he was so much into it, that I started feeling guilty. One time after we did it he had a seizure. He was epileptic. I felt more guilty than ever before in my life. Not only I am a gay and he was my cousin but I had repeated the vicious cycle. The prey now became the predator. I realized that it had to stop. But he wanted to continue doing it as soon as he recovered after a few days from his seizure;
"No I don't think we should"
"It's not right."
"But I want you to."
"I said no and never. It's just a one time thing"
He was so persistent that he grabbed and kissed me. I kicked him on the face and got him shocked and so was I. Confused like hell, I left him sobbing. I did not mind what happened to him at all. I scurried back to Manila all by myself. That was the last time I saw him. My guilt is still within me until.......
"Am fine, it's good you were able to chat me."
"Yeah I got your addie from -------"
"So how's your life there in D.R.?"
"Oh just work and stuff"
"Hey have you heard about -------(1st male cousin)? He left his mom and lived with his girlfriend now!"
"Really?I didn't know."
My female cousin news got me excited. Although I have decided long ago not to be bothered about anything that is related to my relatives, I inquisitively asked;
"What about Uncle -------?
"Oh him, he's still a bachelor."
"He's living alone in the province."
I could not elaborate no more as I might give her an idea.
"Hey, one time I would like you to chat with my pop, mom and -------"
"Sure why not?"
We had chatted a lot of other things whenever she saw me online she buzzes me. One time she buzzed me and told me she's with someone who wants to see me on cam. I opened my webcam and saw him (the 2nd male cousin) and was flabbergasted. He was an adult now. We said our casual 'hi's and 'hello's' until I asked them if he's already married. They said he wasn't fit to be engaged because of his condition. I sulked and felt remorse. Their answer was not enough to take the guilt from me. It have bitten me once again. The years that have passed failed to erase it. Albeit the predator in me preys no more.
and I have met each other personally. We were college friends before and come to think of it we just found ourselves online after 3 long years. It was fun as we shared some of the things we've been into and the next thing we were already talking about our own blogs. I couldn't believe that the most admirable creations he did while were still in college have made it through the web. Of course I will not be so damn uptight not to share you his blog which is an extension of his overflowing creativity.
His fantastic world of gargoyles,
and other out-of-worldly creations would never fail fancying you. Even the bugs
alike have not escaped his lens nor his witty captions.
A stunning visual and poetic entries would surely entice you to visit this one of a kind blog.
Enter his world, enter the world of Shizahi.
Just so you know:
He is such a hottie that every blogger in the gay blogosphere have blogged about him.
"What the fuck are you doing there?"
"Aha! What is this?"
"Oh I just found that under the bed Uncle"
"And who said you're allowed to see this kind of things?"
"Did you tell that you saw this to anyone?"
"Did you like what you see?"
"Uhmmmmm I don't know"
"You're sweating a lot, I know you like it"
I bit my lip and decided I was caught red-handed there's no way I can lie no more.
"Yes, I like what I see"
"Do you like this (pointing the thing between his thighs)?"
What makes a person a believer? Many people would say that sometimes you just need faith, others would say it's better to see or hear with your own senses before believing. I'd say initially in our life we tend to be the first premise as we rely on adults such as our parents, teachers or other elders as our source of knowledge. During that time we don't need to rationalize as we are forced to believe that they know better than us. But as we grow and assimilate in-your-face facts we encounter in our daily struggle our faith weakens. A lot of things gets clearer in our minds and our logic and reasoning suddenly weigh more than what they're teaching us. They call this stage of one's life many names one in particular is 'adolescent angst'. Usually as an effect of seeing the truth, we lose respect to these so-called morality guardians; parents, teachers and especially the revered people of the church. We rebel that's what they say.
Religion is a prickly subject. Sometimes discussing it would end you up in a heated argument. Some people even loses it whenever you don't agree with them. I had my shares and most of the time they call me agnostic, atheists or the worst a 'son-of-devil'. I kept mum to any of these because I should know myself better. Now, don't get me wrong I am neither one of those labels believe me. I just have my own way of seeing things differently and that's all. One time me and a female co-worker discussed the veracity of the Holy Bible. She asked me if I read and believe it. I said yes but I do not believe everything in it only some parts that are credible enough to win my adoration and really put it in practice. Stubbornly she blurted out, "why not the whole?" It's because some of the passages are illogical and may have been outdated already. And others have been twisted to fit whatever the church wants us to think. Guess what happened next? She deliberately called me an atheist or the son-of-devil because I do not believe the Holy Bible in its entirety. To this I kept mum. You think a godless person would just sit and shut his mouth after all that swearing? I think not.
Now after reading the first two paragraphs above you might be led that indeed I am agnostic or an atheist. Would it surprise you if I say I still go to church, prayer meetings or even bible studies whenever I can? Most of the time I get smirks from the other attendees (hmmmmmm so much for hypocrisy) but I don't mind them at all. Sad to say this does not mean that I have been converted. Yet my principles and beliefs are still intact, nothing new nothing less. It's just that I am still holding on to the thought that there's someone or something(human-like, alien, or concept) above all of us omnipresent-ly taking open-minded care of his creatures. A supreme being of wit and wisdom to understand and withstand the flaws of human race. After all of what I have shared, this question might be bugging you; 'What drives people to change their view about something?'
Let me ask you once again, have I changed your view?
"Oh keep doing that!" he exclaimed while I run my hand up and down on his small member.
"You like it???"
"Yeah it feels so nice, keep rubbing it."
"Please put it inside you mouth!"
Just so you know:
Little did I know that I am already showing my true colors to which it didn't escaped the attention of my classmates who begun teasing me. It didn't bother me at all since I am still in my teenage and happy go-lucky kind of life, and don't mind the sexual connotation of being labeled as "bakla (queer)". Now that I am in my adult life I was amazed to have stumbled upon the plan of reviving Menudo, which tickled all the memory and I started reminiscing.
Now, so much about my so-called life let's begin with Menudo's then and now. The group's originator was Edgardo Diaz of Puerto Rico, he tried a lot of combination of five boys and every member who reaches the age of 16 has to leave the group in the hopes of giving the group immortality.The group's name was coined when her sister, upon seeing the boys rehearsals under their driveway exclaimed, "Que mucho menudo hay aqui!", menudo which thus in this phrase means young men was stuck and eventually became the group's name. Over the years the group were continuously evolving with every change of member and has continued doing tours mall to mall or in every available TV show that they can perform. When he had grouped Charlie, Ray, Roy, Robbie and the most popular of them all; Ricky Martin (my crush)
that was the time he gained international attention as far as Philippines and Japan. Sadly when all the members have outgrown the age that they should be, and all of the said members were already out, the new ones have failed to compare in its popularity or fame, little by little they faded in the music scene. Eventually the name was sold to a Venezuelan investors.
Fast forward to 2007, just when the Reality TV sprouted like mushrooms after a storm, a show was made for reviving the group entitled "Making Menudo" and it was aired on MTV primetime. According to Menudo Entertainment the formula used for the old Menudo will be the same but this time with a twist, the age of staying in the group which was 16 was lengthened to 20. Giving more opportunities for the members to strut their stuff. The new Menudo's first single will be "More Than Words" on the same album name and sung by Jose (15), Chris(15), Emmanuel (16), Monti(18) and Carlos(18).
Their sound will have an urban/pop/rock feel in both English and Spanish versions.
Bring them on and let's see if one of them can steal my heart just like Ricky did.
Lately, I got some bad news that my longtime boyfriend got hurt in a brawl after a drinking spree. I didn't know what to do, I cried and became worried so much I had a sleepless night. It is an awful feeling you wouldn't dare to have.
I almost thought of swimming the vast ocean just to be with him. To comfort him and take care of him.
Prayers can move mountains, that's what they say and which I came to believe. With a throng of internet friends I have I was able to gain not just one prayer from me but from all of them. They prayed for him and it worked! He just suffered a minor contusion and only a stitch is needed to be done.
Thanks for all of you guys who were with me in time of crisis, my heart goes for all of you!
Hurray to Domenico and Stefano for heralding the time to come!!! Hurray to LGBT!!!
in the Caribbean. With approximately 2 million square meters of land, it is located within the heart of the capital; Santo Domingo.
And since it occupies a large amount of land you will need to ride a small train
to be able to go around and view the park. You can find exhibits of the indigenous flora and areas dedicated to palm trees and orchids. Some other exotic plants too from all over the world can be seen in the park. Also on the grounds is what was once the largest floral clock in the world.
A lot of you who may have visited Japan will agree that their Japanese Garden
is one of the most lovely in the world. I took a picture that befits a postcard image in its beauty and serenity.
And so they say, "if there's a will, there is a way!"
Jay Brannan is an American singer/songwriter and actor best known for his role "Ceth" in the movie SHORTBUS.
the sidewalk is rushing at my head againi’m lying on the street in the rain and windfrom doing forward rolls down avenue Awith my guitar on my back, don’t let it end this waysomehow i dialed my celli didn’t know i could get service in hellhow quickly can you get here, don’t know where i am dearfinally the world actually seems to be revolving around me
This video gained him the hearts of his fans by not wearing a shirt while singing inside the toilet. Cute!!!
I saw this article, confirming that the chemical oxytocin greatly affects trust and generosity to strangers so much it is 80 % overwhelmingly accurate. Imagine if you combine oxytocin and sex pheromone,
The story of his life, his lover and his set of friends is so inspiring that it definitely would make your day worthy of living, whether you're gay or not. Kudos to you Mandaya and more power to your friends. Thanks for linking up to B^2!!!
Just so you know:
Eye Color: Hazel Green
Hair Color: Blond
A member of the Most Excellent Order of the British empire. Ben Cohen is a rugby legend who played as a center/wing player with an explosive power, inherent skill and incredible work rate on the pitch.
While he has a ready smile for everyone
he can be straight forward in dealing with people.
As a matter of fact, he is about to throw a party for his gay fans. A move that is so much un-athletic, since most of them does not want to be associated with PLU. A high proportion of his adoring fans are from the gay community so he opted to give them a gay night celebration in London in March.
Way to go Big Ben!!! Love yah!
just make me keep wishing I could be young again. Hmmmmm so much have happened and invented in science and technology, haven't they found the "elixir of youth" yet? 'Coz I don't wanna go into a gamut of cosmetic surgery just like Jacko (have you heard that he's about to lose his Neverland ranch too?) Tsk! tsk! tsk!