The power of thinking: optimism with care

"I want to believe in the best possible outcome, but I should also put much effort into exploring what could go wrong. The power of positive thinking can truly help, but it's not smart to avoid the facts."


DR on my lens - Motels ala Las Vegas

If the Philippines have their Pasay and Old Manila as their sin city, Manfresa and San Isidro are DR's version. It is where you can find lots of 'cabanas' or motels situated on both sides of the avenue. The place has so many lights that it can be mistaken as Las Vegas, I wonder how they can maintain them even with the 'apagones' (blackouts) every now and then. I have been in almost all of them and they boast of a lot of amenities. One particular amenity that fancied me is that they have automated and glass door shower area that's so costly in the Philippines it could only be in the executive suite, (I have been to our own motels too and I know what I am saying is true.) but here they're just from a normal suite.

In most of them you will have to have a car to go inside because they're a drive thru' type of motel. Nobody sees you while you go inside the garage. One more move that's perfect for PLU doing the down low which is mostly the case here in DR.

From Square One, Closing

....... a child.

It took some time for the abuses to stop. It wasn't me who have brought up the matter to other elders. It was another cousin that he was also doing the same abuses. However he was just apprehended but was never incarcerated. "Bantay Bata (Child Watch)" is not yet known during that time. They chose to shut up for what matters most was the sake and name of the clan. Our family hold the municipality the same as the Marcoses did during his regime. The case would mean disrespect from the community. So no word came up. It angered me so much deep inside. I am just a nobody.

Again fate stepped in as my family failed to have a decent life in the province even if we're near our relatives. Life got harder for us so my Dad decided to pawn our house to my grandfather. He accepted it. I can't believe it, he should be helping us instead of putting us knee deep in the mud. My dad was devastated but at least we have some money to start on. When we get back to Manila we started our life again. We tried fitting in a single rented room in the city. Everything was there, the living room, the kitchen, the bedroom. We had a communal bathroom where everyone in that same house were using. The house had other tenants and all of them were family just like us. We were in squalor. The hardships in our life had me more occupied than my budding homosexuality. Everything was thrown at the back.

It didn't take long when our funds have depleted, and we were forced to look for another place to live. Wonder of wonders, there's another relative have rescued us. We ended up living in the southern part of Metro Manila. Life over there wasn't any better. We didn't pay rent but we took care of the property. And when I said took care, it means doing the herculean task of making the place habitable. When we arrived the place was a wreck, a small-hill with big ipil-ipil trees can be found in the backyard a throng of mosquitoes guarded it. Me and my dad flattened the mount of soil with our own bare hands under the scorching sun. We planted crops there so we can get by. Having less than enough, we crawled out of poverty. Time flew and little did we know that we were already young adults.

During the elementary school years I was already showing hints of queerness. I always played with girls. More involved in cultural activities and never did bother to learn any type of sports. My classmates started teasing me but I paid no attention them. I was happy being what I am. Life went on until one day when I was in the 6th grade I met this guy. He's way older than me. He was a street vendor selling cigarettes. I was resting midway from my walk to my house and sitting under a roofed lot. He approached me and started to ask me some questions. He seemed to be a nice guy. We talked about a lot of things. He was amazed that I know more than my age. He was amazed about me knowing more about SEX. He dared me to put it in practice with him. We lured me into fucking him in a vacant storage house that's where he taught me how to fuck his ass. I didn't like it at all but I remembered getting the hardest boner I ever had. I never came but the event solidified my attraction to guys. After that we never saw each other again. I continued walking the same route hoping that we would cross paths again. We never did but then I met a handsome priest who was very fond of me. He gave me toys and asked me to pass by the church everyday. And so I did. He was abnormally sweet to me. He liked giving me a body rub. I didn't see anything sexual in it so I allowed him. However, before something might have happened to us he was transferred. I missed him, his touches and his encouragements. I knew then that I was different.

It was the sophomore year when I came out. Disappointing half of my female classmates who had a crush on me. I am not a looker but I was always topping the class. The year before that I had my first and last girlfriend. We never broke up. I just realized it wasn't her that I was falling for it was my male best-friend. He left before he ever knew that I was attracted to him. While the poor girl never knew the reason why I dumped her.

High school life was indeed the happiest time of my life. I've got lots of friends, including the ones that have introduced me more into sex. I've got lots of boyfriends too during that time.

They've helped me hone my talents in giving pleasure to the same sex. Me and my gay pals counted partners more than we could. Year 1986, Rock Hudson was diagnosed with the gay disease. Sex was just sex, as we were so ignorant then.

Even with so much disgusto, we spent one summer vacation back in our province. Memories came back reeling as I had to face my uncle who had molested me. He did change a bit he became somewhat ashamed and avoided me while I was there. Maybe because I was out and proud already and he saw the effect of what he had done to me. Although I never blamed him. And even though we have grown up, my dearest cousin was still the apple of the eyes my relatives. Nothing have changed, I was the bad apple. I am still a nobody. He never have shown any signs that he remembered whatever had happened between us. His non-chalant irked me heavily that I turned my attention to a younger male cousin.He was the one who had asked help from his parents when we were being molested by my uncle. He had grown a bit of a young man thus a prey to my eyes. I had an evil plan to seduce my younger cousin to doing it with me. One time, I went over his house and since we live nearby I had no trouble asking him if we can play together. Same trick, we tussled and hustled then when I got the chance I grabbed his crotch. He was aroused obviously as his shorts were already wet with precum. He haven't ejaculated before so when he saw the wet spot, he was intrigued by it:

"Hey what happened? Did I just pissed on myself?"
"You don't know what that is?"
"It's your love juice.......It comes out whenever you get excited. Are you excited?"
"Yes I am!"
"You want me to continue?"
"Please do!"

And so I did. Armed with all the skills I learned from my past experiences I gave him the blowjob of his life, which he really liked and enjoyed. I let him come inside my mouth. He asked me to do it once again the day after that. And then the day after that. Until he was so much into it, that I started feeling guilty. One time after we did it he had a seizure. He was epileptic. I felt more guilty than ever before in my life. Not only I am a gay and he was my cousin but I had repeated the vicious cycle. The prey now became the predator. I realized that it had to stop. But he wanted to continue doing it as soon as he recovered after a few days from his seizure;

"Let's do it again, please!"
"No I don't think we should"
"Why not?"

"It's not right."

"But I want you to."
"I said no and never. It's just a one time thing"

He was so persistent that he grabbed and kissed me. I kicked him on the face and got him shocked and so was I. Confused like hell, I left him sobbing. I did not mind what happened to him at all. I scurried back to Manila all by myself. That was the last time I saw him. My guilt is still within me until.......

"Hi cousin!"
"What's up?"
"Am fine, it's good you were able to chat me."
"Yeah I got your addie from -------"

"Oh yeah!"
"So how's your life there in D.R.?"

"Oh just work and stuff"
"Hey have you heard about -------(1st male cousin)? He left his mom and lived with his girlfriend now!"
"Really?I didn't know."

My female cousin news got me excited. Although I have decided long ago not to be bothered about anything that is related to my relatives, I inquisitively asked;

"What about Uncle -------?

"Oh him, he's still a bachelor."

"He's living alone in the province."

I could not elaborate no more as I might give her an idea.

"Hey, one time I would like you to chat with my pop, mom and -------"
"Sure why not?"

We had chatted a lot of other things whenever she saw me online she buzzes me. One time she buzzed me and told me she's with someone who wants to see me on cam. I opened my webcam and saw him (the 2nd male cousin) and was flabbergasted. He was an adult now. We said our casual 'hi's and 'hello's' until I asked them if he's already married. They said he wasn't fit to be engaged because of his condition. I sulked and felt remorse. Their answer was not enough to take the guilt from me. It have bitten me once again. The years that have passed failed to erase it. Albeit the predator in me preys no more.


Enter his enchanted world

It's been awhile since the author of this blog 'Shizahi's World'

and I have met each other personally. We were college friends before and come to think of it we just found ourselves online after 3 long years. It was fun as we shared some of the things we've been into and the next thing we were already talking about our own blogs. I couldn't believe that the most admirable creations he did while were still in college have made it through the web. Of course I will not be so damn uptight not to share you his blog which is an extension of his overflowing creativity.

His fantastic world of gargoyles,



and other out-of-worldly creations would never fail fancying you. Even the bugs

and cacti

alike have not escaped his lens nor his witty captions.

A stunning visual and poetic entries would surely entice you to visit this one of a kind blog.

Enter his world, enter the world of Shizahi.

The power of thinking: practicality

"I don't need to spend more than what I have, especially if pleasure is involved. I won't justify my actions that satisfies my desires, physically or emotionally. Practicality will pay off for me better than indulgence."


Rx: Weekly Prescription - Hunkalicious Babe-lium (Overdosage is allowed)

scaLE AND RO-K me bABE

Just so you know:

Nick: (anyone knows what's his nick)
Age: 21
Zodiac: Gemini
Ethnicity: Japanese and Brazilian
Eye Color: (anyone knows what's the color of his eyes???)
Hair Color: (anyone knows what's the color of his eyes???)
Height: 6'

I can't blame MISTERHUBS if he gets infatuated with this guy. Who wouldn't be? I bet even a straight guy will go nuts if he would undress in front of them. He is truly an epitome of male beauty. An almost perfect creation made just for the gays' admiration.

Leandro Okabe is a PE student from Sao Paulo, Brazil. He began modeling in Asia first before discovered by a Brazil agency. The fashion industry is now looking for more of this hybrids from Brazil, and he was also a top choice.

He is such a hottie that every blogger in the gay blogosphere have blogged about him.

Anyways, if you are wondering what does the tattoo on his ribcage means, it is a chinese character for the word 'luck' or 'good fortune'.


From Square One, Mid-half

.......he never came but that was the beginning of our many sneaky exploration whenever we find opportunity.

My father came from his long stay abroad working in Mediterranean region. That's the first time I got to know and see him in flesh. He was never really there as I was growing up. He had a lot of money with him and was able to secure us a house in the province. Fate have decided what's going to happen with the secret rendezvous between me and my cousin. Our sexual exploration put in halt not giving him a chance to return to me the favor. When our house was built we left theirs and settled in the province. My father chose to be near to our relatives with the hope of them taking good care of us. He was very confident that with them around our life will be so much better. So he thinks. Little does he know my nightmarish childhood have just begun.

The apparent favoritism in the family made me a rogue child. I have done every bad trick in the book, I became a kleptomaniac, I became a chronic liar. Hence the black sheep of the clan. I even didn't know what's happening with me then. I just knew something was missing in my life. And because of my secretive nature, one time I stumbled upon a stack of magazines of the stepbrother of my grandmother. The magazine was full of naked male pictures and sex stories and upon seeing them a flame reignited in me. I got hooked. Whenever there was a chance I sneak up inside his room and browse over the magazines. They were magnificent in my eyes, the perfect abs, the contours of the muscles, the different shape of the dicks. And even the subliminal messages like power, submission, passion and ecstasy that those pictures convey were obvious to my very young mind. And because I was aware of all of these I could have exuded a come-on appearance, like the effect of pheromones to the bees, thus attracting adults to me. The sneaking up continued until one time I was caught en flagrante delicto by an uncle;

"What the fuck are you doing there?"

I was dumbfounded and don't know how to respond. Although I was not doing any sexual act during that time, I have no way of scurrying out of that situation. The magazine was on my hand and I was sweating profusely. I was looking a pre-coital position of two men.

"Aha! What is this?"
"Oh I just found that under the bed Uncle"
"And who said you're allowed to see this kind of things?"
"Did you tell that you saw this to anyone?"
"No Uncle"

When I said no, his eyes lit up a bit. He grinned devilishly. I didn't know if it was my appearance or that he knew already that stuff was under there that gave me away he continued his 3rd degree questioning until,

"Did you like what you see?"
"Uhmmmmm I don't know"
"You're sweating a lot, I know you like it"

I bit my lip and decided I was caught red-handed there's no way I can lie no more.

"Yes, I like what I see"
"Do you like this (pointing the thing between his thighs)?"

Am scared I did not know what to do. He opened his tight pants and extracted his member from his smelly underwear. His cock was crooked to the left, monstrous in size and did not look delectable as portrayed in the pictures of the magazine. I gulped and waited for what's going to happen next. I knew I was about to plunge in a pile of deep shit.

He was already hard and drooling with wet and sticky precum. He went near my face and hit me with it. I didn't like the smell at all. I guess what my other relative said that he was nuts is true. That he was a bit of a person from the loony bin. Maybe that explains his lack of hygiene. Well if he's nuts, definitely his nuts won't be smelling good at the least. I tried not to open my mouth but he pinched my jaw until I was forced to open it. I cried but he told me not to or else he's going to hit me with my grandpa's cane. I know that cane was hard and it would hurt me badly. Quickly I stopped my sobbing and did what he asked me to do. He face fucked me when I finally opened my jaw he was humping like crazy until he reached his climax. Minded not that my teeth was scraping his cock badly.

And when he was about to come, he shoved it entirely that I thought I was going to choke to death. He let go everything that went inside my gut. He did not stopped until I did not get the rest of his cum. All my eyes were red and I had a snotty nose from that intrusion. Afterwards he slapped me with it until finally its dried he treated me like I am a towel. He did not bother to ask me if I was okay. If I liked what he have done to me. All I remember is that my body was shaking and I knew my childhood was gone forever. He said we will be doing it again, I almost puked. I did not want to, but who am I to say no I am just his nephew. I am just .......


Faith or Fake

What makes a person a believer? Many people would say that sometimes you just need faith, others would say it's better to see or hear with your own senses before believing. I'd say initially in our life we tend to be the first premise as we rely on adults such as our parents, teachers or other elders as our source of knowledge. During that time we don't need to rationalize as we are forced to believe that they know better than us. But as we grow and assimilate in-your-face facts we encounter in our daily struggle our faith weakens. A lot of things gets clearer in our minds and our logic and reasoning suddenly weigh more than what they're teaching us. They call this stage of one's life many names one in particular is 'adolescent angst'. Usually as an effect of seeing the truth, we lose respect to these so-called morality guardians; parents, teachers and especially the revered people of the church. We rebel that's what they say.

Religion is a prickly subject. Sometimes discussing it would end you up in a heated argument. Some people even loses it whenever you don't agree with them. I had my shares and most of the time they call me agnostic, atheists or the worst a 'son-of-devil'. I kept mum to any of these because I should know myself better. Now, don't get me wrong I am neither one of those labels believe me. I just have my own way of seeing things differently and that's all. One time me and a female co-worker discussed the veracity of the Holy Bible. She asked me if I read and believe it. I said yes but I do not believe everything in it only some parts that are credible enough to win my adoration and really put it in practice. Stubbornly she blurted out, "why not the whole?" It's because some of the passages are illogical and may have been outdated already. And others have been twisted to fit whatever the church wants us to think. Guess what happened next? She deliberately called me an atheist or the son-of-devil because I do not believe the Holy Bible in its entirety. To this I kept mum. You think a godless person would just sit and shut his mouth after all that swearing? I think not.

Now after reading the first two paragraphs above you might be led that indeed I am agnostic or an atheist. Would it surprise you if I say I still go to church, prayer meetings or even bible studies whenever I can? Most of the time I get smirks from the other attendees (hmmmmmm so much for hypocrisy) but I don't mind them at all. Sad to say this does not mean that I have been converted. Yet my principles and beliefs are still intact, nothing new nothing less. It's just that I am still holding on to the thought that there's someone or something(human-like, alien, or concept) above all of us omnipresent-ly taking open-minded care of his creatures. A supreme being of wit and wisdom to understand and withstand the flaws of human race. After all of what I have shared, this question might be bugging you; 'What drives people to change their view about something?'

Recently a friend told me a shocking revelation. Something about religious congregations. Obviously it was the reason he defected and now living a normal life. The revelation is so shocking I again started questioning, again my views were challenged. I know we are already plagued of such and such all over the media, however it's different if it is a first-hand information. Now I know why they're so quick to impose that faith should be beyond reason which gives them immense power and authority over their herds. Poor believers who have succumbed to misleading teachings of the church. I pity them. To give you a hint on what he revealed I'm posting these film clips, old and new;

Let me ask you once again, have I changed your view?


The power of thinking: courage

"I've done my hard work already, so I won't bail by taking the easy way out. I will see both sides of an emotionally charged issue, I won't be afraid to take a stand. "


From Square One, Intro

It was said that in order to discover one true-self you need to go back from the very beginning. Much of what we are now are just reverberations or repercussions of what had happened to us in the past particularly in our precious childhood. With this in mind I want to share one of the reasons how I became GAY. I said 'one of the reasons' because I still believe it's a combination of sort. I was incestuously involved with some same-sex relative starting at a very young age of five and this went on until I had it not only with one but three of them.

I was clueless back then that what we're doing is taboo or mores in the society. Neither do I have the idea of what a child molestation is. Youngsters are naturally sexual active as they tend to be exploratory in this period of life and also because of this innocence they are usually violated. I know many of you may have experienced the same and had been emotionally ravaged by it. Some of us just kept mum or have intentionally erases the said experiences in their memories. Good thing now most of the societies with the help of media have acted on protecting the children from the perversion of adults, blood related or not.

Having a nomadic family back then I was accustomed to transferring from place to place to live. And sometimes we have no particular or apparent reason at all but on this occasion we moved out because the place where we lived was burnt down by a big fire. And being a toddler as I was, I have no knowledge of what have transpired, but this story is not about that. All I know is that we sought refuge from a relative on my father's side and ended up living in a roof of a well-to-do relative who had an only child. His mom was my second mom by church rite.

Me and my male cousin were almost of the same age. Obviously we played together a lot. He had so many toys then which made me more envious of him because I never had one. Then he also went to an exclusive school and even got to be fetched by a school bus. While the poor me just walked to and from my public school everyday. His mom loved and pampered him so much. He was the center of attraction even to our other relatives. And I was a nobody compared to him, so a hidden desire towards him grew in my heart. Unknown to me that I was already nurturing that feeling towards the same sex.

One particular afternoon we were inside his room playing with his GI Joe's and Transformer action figures. When we eventually got tired we decided to wrestle. We hustled and tussled on top of his bed as we go on tickling each other in a juxtaposed position. I accidentally brushed my hand on his nether region. Got nervous how he would react but instead it seemed like he felt nothing about it. Once again I touched him intentionally that's when I felt the hardness under his PJ's. We were all wet with our sweat maybe because of the activity or because it was high noon then. I saw his face blushed whenever I did that and apparently he liked what I am doing too.

"Oh keep doing that!" he exclaimed while I run my hand up and down on his small member.

"You like it???"

"Yeah it feels so nice, keep rubbing it."

That's when I decided to make a bold move of outlining the shape of his crotch. I am not sure what I have felt but it was kind of exciting as his thing grew bigger and warmer on the palm of my hand. He pulled up his shirt and showed me his navel which then I started playing with my cute little fingers. He was so ticklish and laughing hard that I was afraid somebody might hear us. Good heavens it was siesta time so our folks were either sleeping or heavily watching daytime drama on the boobtube. I continued tickling him while we rolled and rolled over on top of his soft but small bed. I smelt his sweaty skin which is kind of sweet since we were still young then and I liked it so much that made me lick some of drops of sweat on his belly up to his two brown knobs on his chest.

His giggles turned into almost inaudible sighs. I continued smelling him while I reached over to cup his and decided to untie the PJ's he is wearing to see how big it was when hard. I was curious if it would look and smell the same as mine. When I pulled his white drawer the emanating aroma was so inviting and sweet that's why I dove in and smelt some more. He held my head in place so when he forcefully shoved me I was utterly helpless but I enjoyed it that I let out my tongue and lapped his mushy and pinkish member. His face grimaced with gusto and he whispered;

"Please put it inside you mouth!"

The warm feeling and inviting smell of his member made me obey him and I automatically swallowed it up to the hilt like what I am doing to a juicy banana. We never had proper training but maybe because of human instinct I bobbed my head while he continued humping me until we were both satisfied and exhausted. Of course .......

Cruising T-rooms

Much to dismay media brouhaha over Walter Jenkins, George Michael and lastly Sen. Craig t-room affairs it did not stop the gays craving to have sex in public places. Who wouldn't want the thrill in that? The thing is we don't have the same freedom as the straight ones have, all the more adding to the excitement doing it.

Although this type of sexperiences for me is a thing of the past,I still wonder what if all the internet ruckus over the proper male etiquette in the toilet have gone over the roof. And by goodness gracious a gorgeous guy is pissing beside me giving me the hints, what should I do???

The power of thinking: harmony

"I must have respect, I must have freedom, and I must have affection. Although finding all three in one place is tough, it is entirely possible. I will evaluate my current situation and ask for what is missing. An uncomfortable sacrifice may be required, but in the end I'll thank myself for fighting for what I believe in: MYSELF."


Hold your breath then free your mind

Even in this ever-changing world it's no joke to find one's trueself. Sometimes it just a flip of the hand but more often than not it would take a whole lifetime. It's a journey that each one of us needs to trod no matter what the expectations are, in the end it is our will that surely will prevail. Such is the story of my blogfriend Kai,

though his life maybe full of heartaches and headaches of different proportions he's still trying to overcome all of these. And his account of the said tribulations were masterpiece stories that allows you to enter his world em by em. Boring not a single reader of "Low, Highs and Alibis" but keeping them wanting for more and more.


Rx: Daily Prescription - Hunkalicious Babe-lium (Overdosage is allowed)

Max-imum surprise

Just so you know:

Nick: Max Orloff, Jan Dvorak
Age: 30
Zodiac: Aquarius
Ethnicity: Czech
Eye Color: (anyone knows what's the color of his eyes???)
Hair Color: (anyone knows what's the color of his eyes???)
Height: 6'2"

Pavel is a hot porn star doing almost all the varieties ranging from gay to bisexual to solo jack-off sessions. He debuted in this industry in the year 1999 when William Higgings and a talent scout spotted him nude on a beach sun bathing. And he was the one who approached them.

He won the 2001 GayVN Editor's Choice Awards for his role potraying himself in "The Jan Dvorak Story". Maybe its the culture but like Johan Paulik he still consider himself straight eventhough he graced all those slutty porn films now he (okay, are you ready for this?) is retired and married a WOMAN!!!What in the world??? I know its a shame, shame, shame, that's so confusing. He bottomed, he sucked, he rimmed, he did everything imaginable but still he is straight.


The power of thinking: trust

"I will walk away from those who aren't committed to helping me. It could be that there are people out there who are purposefully trying to sabotage my plan. I am too darn smart to fall into this sort of trap. I will prove to others that even though I may be happy and have a playful attitude, that doesn't mean that I am gullible."

What's cooking? The New Menudo - that is!

I remember I was a teeny bopper then when I got infatuated with Madonna in her playboy magazine and with the then-famous boyband of my days; Menudo. But much to my surprise I am more aroused when I see the naiveness and the freshness of Ricky Martin. He became one of the subjects of my many cream dream that plague me almost every night. And in my true fashion, I became obsessed with him that I started doing choreography of almost all of their dance songs, one in particular "Like an Explosion". I even started imitating them wearing those striped socks that lands just below the knee in its length which they have sported in the 80's or what we called "the menudo look".

Little did I know that I am already showing my true colors to which it didn't escaped the attention of my classmates who begun teasing me. It didn't bother me at all since I am still in my teenage and happy go-lucky kind of life, and don't mind the sexual connotation of being labeled as "bakla (queer)". Now that I am in my adult life I was amazed to have stumbled upon the plan of reviving Menudo, which tickled all the memory and I started reminiscing.

Now, so much about my so-called life let's begin with Menudo's then and now. The group's originator was Edgardo Diaz of Puerto Rico, he tried a lot of combination of five boys and every member who reaches the age of 16 has to leave the group in the hopes of g
iving the group immortality.The group's name was coined when her sister, upon seeing the boys rehearsals under their driveway exclaimed, "Que mucho menudo hay aqui!", menudo which thus in this phrase means young men was stuck and eventually became the group's name. Over the years the group were continuously evolving with every change of member and has continued doing tours mall to mall or in every available TV show that they can perform. When he had grouped Charlie, Ray, Roy, Robbie and the most popular of them all; Ricky Martin (my crush)

that was the time he gained international attention as far as Philippines and Japan. Sadly when all the members have outgrown the age that they should be, and all of the said members were already out, the new ones have failed
to compare in its popularity or fame, little by little they faded in the music scene. Eventually the name was sold to a Venezuelan investors.

Fast forward to 2007, just when the Reality TV sprouted like mushrooms after a storm, a show was made for reviving the group entitled "Making Menudo" an
d it was aired on MTV primetime. According to Menudo Entertainment the formula used for the old Menudo will be the same but this time with a twist, the age of staying in the group which was 16 was lengthened to 20. Giving more opportunities for the members to strut their stuff. The new Menudo's first single will be "More Than Words" on the same album name and sung by Jose (15), Chris(15), Emmanuel (16), Monti(18) and Carlos(18).

Their sound will have an urban/pop/rock feel in both English and Spanish versions.

Bring them on and let's see if one of them can steal my heart just like Ricky did.


Worrisome distance

I've never thought that it would be very hard to bear the emotional impact of being distant to your loved ones. Although I may have brainwashed myself into thinking that I shouldn't be perturbed by any of these, it is inevitably likened to the waves of the seas crushing the stones of its shores. No I' m not that strong and willful as I would like you think, the truth is I am like a marshmallow inside. Waiting to melt and reduced to nothingness.

Lately, I got some bad news that my longtime boyfriend got hurt in a brawl after a drinking spree. I didn't know what to do, I cried and became worried so much I had a sleepless night. It is an awful feeling you wouldn't dare to have.

I almost thought of swimming the vast ocean just to be with him. To comfort him and take care of him.

Prayers can move mountains, that's what they say and which I came to believe. With a throng of internet friends I have I was able to gain not just one prayer from me but from all of them. They prayed for him and it worked! He just suffered a minor contusion and only a stitch is needed to be done.

Thanks for all of you guys who were with me in time of crisis, my heart goes for all of you!


The power of thinking: fluidity

"I wish the action would settle down so I can be where the energy may take me. I won't try to control what's happening around me, for that will likely bring frustration instead of pleasure. "


The TIME is within our hands

This ad from D&G is an out and loud expression of the unstoppable coming of our time. The time in which we will never be loathed nor besmirched again ever. It's the time for the freedom of one's sexual preference or lifestyle.

Hurray to Domenico and Stefano for heralding the time to come!!! Hurray to LGBT!!!


DR on my lens - Lush green Botanical Garden

It's truly a herculean task keeping nature amidst the escalating pollution problem the world is now experiencing. But with the ambitious goal and a willing treasury of a government nothing can be impossible. Such is the amazing feat of Dominican Republic in maintaining the largest botanical garden

in the Caribbean. With approximately 2 million
square meters of land, it is located within the heart of the capital; Santo Domingo.

And since it occupies a large amount of land you will need to ride a small train

to be able to go around and view the park. You can find exhibits of the indigenous flora and areas dedicated to palm trees and orchids. Some other exotic plants too from all over the world can be seen in the park. Also on the grounds is what was once the largest floral clock in the world.

A lot of you who may have visited Japan will agree that their Japanese Garden

is one of the most lovely in the world. I took a picture that befits a postcard image in its beauty and serenity.

And so they say, "if there's a will, there is a way!"


Don't let it end Jay!


Jay Brannan is an American singer/songwriter and actor best known for his role "Ceth" in the movie SHORTBUS.


the sidewalk is rushing at my head againi’m lying on the street in the rain and windfrom doing forward rolls down avenue Awith my guitar on my back, don’t let it end this waysomehow i dialed my celli didn’t know i could get service in hellhow quickly can you get here, don’t know where i am dearfinally the world actually seems to be revolving around me


shoo-be-doo-be-doo-wopi overdid it at the soda shopthanks for being my girl at thei-don’t-know-when-to-stop sock hopyou held my head over the edge of the bedi remember it now, but at the time i thought i was deadyou put a pan there, and held back my hairhow can i repay you for saving me and my hardwood floor?


and when the world stopped spinning ’roundi picked the pan up off the groundi read my upheaves, much like tea leavesthey said it’s over, so get sober, or you’ll die again



This video gained him the hearts of his fans by not wearing a shirt while singing inside the toilet. Cute!!!


Casual sex inducing chemicals

Although am still consistent with my abhorrence of the use of chemicals to affect human behavior. I can't help but wonder what if we have one that can help us engage into a casual sex. Would you be tempted to use it?

I saw this article, confirming that the chemical oxytocin greatly affects trust and generosity to strangers so much it is 80 % overwhelmingly accurate. Imagine if you combine oxytocin and sex pheromone,

we can come up with a concoction that would help us get who we want right away. Guys will be sexually generous and trusting and easily be coerced into doing ONS (one night stands). Eerie, right? But it could be possible, it's just a matter of time until someone can come up with this chemical, and probably it would be a best seller just like Viagra.


The power of thinking: leadership

“I can’t be everywhere at once, as a leader I must have confidence in those who work for me.”


Reality bites

I admire people with perspective in life and see humor in it. In my age now, I can say I've been there and done that but the sad thing was I never had the opportunity to make a record about it unlike the generation of today. Blogging is truly wonderful, now you can even take a picture of every second of your life and re-live it. Share it for the whole world to see, just like my blog friend Mandaya Moore-Orlis.

The story of his life, his lover and his set of friends is so inspiring that it definitely would make your day worthy of living, whether you're gay or not. Kudos to you Mandaya and more power to your friends. Thanks for linking up to B^2!!!

Rx: Weekly Prescription - Hunkalicious Babe-lium (Overdosage is allowed)

On Ben-ding the rules

Just so you know:

Nick: Benjie
Age: 29

Zodiac: Virgo
Ethnicity: English
Eye Color: Hazel Green
Hair Color: Blond
Height: 6'2"

A member of the Most Excellent Order of the British empire. Ben Cohen is a rugby legend who played as a center/wing player with an explosive power, inherent skill and incredible work rate on the pitch.

While he has a ready smile for everyone

he can be straight forward in dealing with people.

As a matter of fact, he is about to throw a party for his gay fans. A move that is so much un-athletic, since most of them does not want to be associated with PLU. A high proportion of his adoring fans are from t
he gay community so he opted to give them a gay night celebration in London in March.

Way to go Big Ben!!! L
ove yah!


My love of.......DOLPHINS

It's been awhile now since I have been wanting to be associated with dolphins that I have chosen it as my animal representation. A lot of its character is what I was and is really emulating. Now I am beginning to think that I am obsessed by it. Just imagine I have dolphin posters, dolphin paper weights, dolphin bracelets. Even my laptop wallpaper and screensaver consists of (guess what?) dolphins. Here comes a new gadgetry that I wouldn't mind spending my moolah, well the only problem is I dunno if they have it here in DR.

An obsession you truly want to have

Yes, I admit I am one of those who have that Peter Pan complex and longed to keep my youngness intact. How can I not be? Seeing these wonderful and yummy pictures of teens by my blog buddy "Current Obsession"

just make me keep wishing I could be young again. Hmmmmm so much have happened and invented in science and technology, haven't they found the "elixir of youth" yet? 'Coz I don't wanna go into a gamut of cosmetic surgery just like Jacko (have you heard that he's about to lose his Neverland ranch too?) Tsk! tsk! tsk!